Friday, December 17, 2010

Funny One Liners


 line humor -  no fun, its serious 

 


[1]  Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

 

[2]  Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

 

[3]  Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

 

[4]  I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.  I tried - but they wanted cash.

 

[5]  A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

 

[6]  Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 

 


[7]  Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do,   you'll regret it later.

 

[8]  You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
 
[9]  Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 
 
[10]  Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
 
[11]   Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
 
[12]   My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
 
[13]   Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
 
[14]   Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
 
[15]   A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
 
[16]   You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
 
[17]   It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
 
[18]   Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
 
[19]   Saving is the best thing. Especially,when your parents have done it for you.
 
[20]   Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
 
[21]   They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
 
[22]   Man: Is there any way for long life?
      Dr: Get married.
      Man: Will it help?
      Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
 
[23]  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
       It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

 

[24]  Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
       Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

 

[25]   It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

 

[26]   There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

 

[27]   There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it! 

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